Sometimes

I haven't heard your voice
I thought to myself how much I missed you.
But because things came around & distracted my attention,
I suppressed this feeling.

Sometimes, your look come across my mind.
And I realised I have been missing you.
Sometimes I just want to hear your voice.
I'm sending you messages which most of I believed
you wouldn't reply, for some reasons.
That was what I thought.
But sometimes,
Out of the blue, you called in.
And for that sometimes,
You cheered my heart up.
And all kinds of misconceptions just melted down.

Sometimes I keep thinking of you,
sweet surrender.

But I'm dreaming for all times,
being with you, and you with me.

弄丢

女孩哭道:"你的左手呢?"
独臂人 :"弄丢了。"
女孩 :"弄丢?"
独臂人 :"丢了。不过我比较想知道,我有没有弄丢我心爱的女孩?"
女孩紧紧抱住独臂人,又哭又笑。
没有回答,因为不需要。
独臂人笑了。
蝴蝶也笑了。

-採自九把刀著书

Worry About You

Dear friend,
You are someone important to me.
That is what friends define.
All that matters for being a friend,
Was not more than just to see that you're fine.

Dear friend,
You are someone that I want to protect.
Friends protect.
All that matters,
Is you're safe.
Be it physically, emotionally, even psychologically.

Dear friend,
You are someone I trust.
Friendship stands on the ground of trustworthiness.
I want you to trust me,
Like how I trust you.

Dear friend,
You are someone I want to listen to,
I want to be your companion,
When you're sad, confused, happy,
Or whenever you want me to be your listener.
So shall I ask for you to listen to me,
When I say I want to protect you,
Trust me that I will protect you,
Because, you are my friend.
If I am wrong, please correct me.
Speak to me so that I will listen to you.
Because all that matters,
Is you

Dear Miss White

There happened to be a lady
She has long black hair, not that shiny though
But curled
Voice that she sounds are so soft
But sweet
Flaws in pronouncing the right -an & -ang though
But cute
Skin as white as Snow White
And Kiwi is her favourite
If there's a chance
She may be Snow White
Choked by Kiwi
But there's still a prince waiting to come to her rescue

She's light and graceful
Long before she was cursed by the Evil One
She used to dance
She dances with dainty steps
Gracefully
Indian dance was her favourite
Every morning she gets up
She dances her way to clean herself
Made her way to brush teeth by dancing
When she reached her chamber
She dances her way to bed
"What a wonderful day..." She thought to herself

Once,
She was eating Kiwi in her bed
But she has gotten too tired
Holding with her a golden spoon
She fell asleep, gracefully
Somewhere in the midnight she got up
She saw shiny thing laid on floor
Carefully examine it and she found out
"Oh..It's my spoon"

She used to jog around park
But she's fragile just like a princess
Which rarely she could go free to do things she like
So she ran free one day & jogged
...
So ends her day
All sudden in the middle of night she woke up
And found herself having fever
And she could not sleep
Worrying that she's gonna disturb her friend
She kept silent
There happened to be another peasant boy
Which She likes to call him "Disturbia","Pervert" & "Pigmoonlien"
He was told by Miss White's friend that Miss White fell sick
So he cared and found that
Miss White also had a leg ache and fever
Dear Miss White
Hmm...Thoughtful but you need to learn to let your friend worry about you
Bearing all troubles silently made people around worry
So said the peasant boy a.k.a. Disturbia,Pervert & Pigmoonlien,"I'm worry too.."

Take good care Miss White.. L.T.

Logic vs Feeling

Actions behind a rush of adrenaline are considered actions done based on feeling. Logics come with much speculation, consideration, judgment, cognition, and the outcome is reasonable. Opposite of the former. What does it call, when I feel I want to understand you better, to help you in all ways? When I'm in the state of idle, your look and your voice, were the ones that surfaced to my consciousness. When I saw other guys talking sweet to you, I just felt like I've got nothing to say, I do not know how should I react. Troubled by the thought that I'm gonna lose you as a friend when I cross over the line. I'm building up an invisible wall between us, to protect our friendship, but I'm denying my feeling by each brick that I lay down. I am like a hypocrite, bound to this thought. My logic tells me it's not possible for us, but my feeling's telling me to court after your love. They are both waging wars. I am so scared that my logic could lose its ground at anytime. Despite the agony I'm putting myself to go through, I still could not stop myself from thinking of you. You're like a soft sweet song that calms my mind. I feel like I'm gonna lose my sound mind whenever this song ends. I never want this song to end.

Jh Timothy

I don't wanna know

心会痛　心会碎
可是心更怕后悔
我不要完美
只要能给你我的一切
错过谁
我都没有重要的一点点感觉
只要你的安慰
I don't wanna know
失去你有多痛
我只愿为你存在
就算这世界说我错
No No No
I don't wanna know
我不再对谁伸出我的双手
因为你留给我一个未完的梦
I don't wanna know
当你寂寞的时候
闭上你的双眼
我就会在你左右

Kiss My Ass, NO!

Have you ever came across with people who are so good at kissing someone else's ass? I hate this kind of people. But I thought to myself again and again, often, I forgive people like this. But wait, do they really need my forgiveness and is ass-kissing wrong? I wonder. Well, I do not know. In fact, there's a part of me that actually hates them because I'm actually envious of their skills. People like this they are always good at drawing attention to themselves, not just that, they manipulate. They gather friends and people of powers around them. They are gifted to speak. It would be a waste if they are not lawyers, they have the "power" to raise the "dead" and to "kill". I do have people of this kind living around me, and of course, I hate to interact with them. But for goodness sake, my religion didn't teach me to discriminate. One thing I could do were to refresh myself just like reloading web pages, get over with what's done or said and still consider them as friends. But sometimes, they just piss people off. Why is that so? Because they are people of confident. They trust themselves more than they trusted God, or at least that is how it seemed so to me. They carry themselves so well in front of people, to crack jokes or to amuse people. But believe me, it's not that nice when you were the one they cracked jokes off. And this is the part that piss off people. I aint that much of a nice person if you piss me off the same way.

There are other descriptions fit to address, they are, disgusting & hilarious. Frequent, these two words came together like Oreo & milk. When I see them kissing someone else's ass, I felt so disgusted by their actions and words, and there's always a moment I could laugh my ass off seeing them fooling themselves to gain favor. I remembered there's somewhere in the bible that said, if we have the favor of God, why should we worry that we'll not have favor of men. Do you believe so? If so, isn't their actions deemed something foolish and made themselves some laughingstock? Can I hear some laughters?

Poor & rich, healthy & sick, life & death, good & bad. All things are in balance, so heard. If we look at these people positively, there's still something we can learn from them. Shrewdness, be one that shines amongst people. Not to compliment, but it's true that we need friends and people to live. One cannot live all by himself only. We need to be smart and get along with people around us so that in times of need we'll get our help. This is certainly logical. But if you trust that God provides, don't worry u'll not get help or friends. Just be nice to people.

Don't go overboard, don't kiss my ass.

Jh Timothy

爱,战

我喜欢你, だいすき da-i-su-ki..
最幸福的事,是偷偷的望你
静静的观察你
默默的守护你
主张的帮助你
甜甜的思恋你
夜夜梦着你
无时想着你
偶尔累了掂着你..
失落时,你是我振奋的泉源..

我是个懦夫..
没胆量正视你
因为害怕你的美
会使我越陷越深

喜欢你
我只想喜欢你
不敢让你喜欢
虽然渴望
但,不可能..
在你眼前我懦弱得只想守着喜欢你的感觉
把这些话往心里藏
我不是什么勇者

矛盾
憎恨自己的愚蠢
喜欢一个不可能喜欢我的你
但..
喜欢你那微甜的感觉
把憎恨侵蚀

爱,战..
矛,盾..

一天我说服了自己不再喜欢你
但只要你的一句话
我都不能抗拒
我该怎样战胜我自己

Jh Timothy

Help me, please.. Help me to understand

This is a story about a boy's life. Crap & maybe even uninteresting to most of u I believe, because this boy was only a nobody. Insignificant and rather dull to listen to. But what this boy had ever wanted was to have someone to notice his existence. He's been trying hard to understand things, but it aint enough. Not even he could not interpret things around him, he could not even understand himself well enough. If you would care to listen to him, what are his feelings. All his life, he had been brought up to live a righteous life, a follower of Jesus Christ. He knew almost every biblical stories and even characters. Who is Moses, ministry of Jesus, and more. And, being the eldest of the family, he had been trying to live up to expectations. But somehow, he is just so lost, and confused. His life is like an unsolved puzzle. As he grew older, he started to question things. God showed him miracles, grateful and humbled he was. But sometimes, he just fell in his walk with God. As is often heard, everybody sins, no one is perfect. But this boy is stubborn and he could hardly forgive himself for the wrongs he did. He had been trying to figure out, why God allows temptation, why there is sadness, why there is pain, why humans feel. But there is a bigger "why?" he had tried to answer, he could not understand why he tends to think a lot, should we call him a "great thinker"? Maybe pessimistic is just the word to describe him. He was very emotional, too.

The boy used to have a younger brother, David. Full of life and energy, playful, and sunny. I supposed all the kids of below 5 years old of age are like this. Lol. There was once, the kids' parents were away. They were left to be taken care by their aunt. Back then, "Pink Panther" was the show that steals the kids' soul. This boy was just as ordinary as other kids, he likes Pink Panther too. Pink Panther was the great magician that capture attentions. The boy could hardly take note of his younger David when the show starts. All the boy could remember at his 5-year old age was that, David was a naughty brother that disturbed him when he was watching "Pink Panther". David asked for food and complained that he was hungry. But the boy just could not care less, because Pink Panther was there! Yeappy! And he left his younger brother to keep annoying and scouting out for food all by himself. David was a smart boy scout, he climbed up chair to look for food. Even smarter and cuter than squirrel that was in search of walnuts. Aunt Liann came to ask if the boy had saw his younger brother, and unwillingly the boy seek for his younger brother to please his aunt, it was an act out of guilt too. So, he found his brother David. Now, David was acting kind of strange and kept complaining about abdominal ache. But kids weren't taught about diagnostic analysis to explain the cause of pain. Because, they just do not care. However, the pain persisted even till night and was detering, so Aunt Liann made a few calls to inform the parents. The Parents quickly sent David for checkup. The time passed kind of quick, or it was all that the boy could remember at his young age. Or, maybe this was just like an example of selective memory lost that the boy could do to excuse himself and the thereafter happening. The boy could only remember how David cried of the pain in the craddle, the weepings of the parents and relatives that night. David passed away to join the angels in heaven. The ignorant boy could only understand that the cause of death of David was eaten too much food. Funny isn't it? Until now the boy still feel blur and funny of the way his brother died. He wanted to laugh, but those laughters came with excruciating and agonizing sorrows deep down inside his heart. If only he had watched over his brother, or just to care more about his brother. Although people excused him for his ignorance, because they thought he was just a kid and things happened in accordance to how God wanted things to be. In fact, it wasn't even the boy's fault, for he was just a kid. But this guilt grew up with the boy, to be a big fig tree that had shadowed him for so many years. Living under the shade of shame. He would felt much relieved by blaming himself for David's death. He needs the pain to remind him that he's alive.

The boy had grown up. But all this while, he has been trying to fill up the emptiness of his heart. Seeking for the answer to live, living to leave a proof that he had existed.

Jh Timothy